Coach the Person Not the Problem

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Marcia Reynolds promises the key to transformational coaching: being fully present. She teaches readers to focus on individuals rather than their problems to draw out your clients’ true feelings and get to the root of their concerns. Packed with easy-to-grasp tips and case studies, Reynold’s book includes the five techniques of reflective inquiry. Find out how to use thinking partnerships to expand your clients’ perspectives and help them gain the power and confidence to move forward.

Take-Aways

• Successful coaching techniques focus on inquiry, not merely on asking questions.
• People don’t transform their thinking on their own; coaching helps. Coaches can use five essential techniques:
• 1. Focus – Direct your attention as a coach to your client rather than to the client’s initial problem.
• 2. Active replay – Affirm clients’ stories by echoing their words.
• 3. Brain hacking – Help clients discover values or biases that may prevent them from seeing alternative approaches.  
• 4. Goaltending – Help clients keep their story on track.
• 5. New and next – Promise engagement and prod clients to take action.
• Coaches must know what to say, guard their emotions and remain present.

Summary

Successful coaching techniques focus on inquiry, not merely on asking questions.

Acknowledging the differences between inquiry and questioning differentiates good coaches from great ones. Many coaches learn to ask specific questions, quite like following a checklist. However, this approach takes focus away from the client’s responses. Effective coaching seeks to spur reflection rather than to provide solutions to a particular problem. To become your client’s “thinking partner,” use reflective inquiry: Pair statements which spark reflective thinking with questions.

“The intent of inquiry is not to find solutions but to provoke critical thinking about our own thoughts. Inquiry helps people being coached discern gaps in their logic, evaluate their beliefs, and clarify fears and desires affecting their choices.”

When coaches use a series of questions with clients who come to them with specific problems, the questions direct the client to a solution for that particular problem, yet underlying issues often remain. Reflective inquiry, by contrast, helps clients understand the beliefs and fears that shape their choices. Reflective inquiry also allows people to reframe their initial problem and place it in a larger context.

True coaching creates a thinking partnership between the coach and the client. This partnership helps clients shift their perspective to see what their words and actions reveal, to evaluate their situation and to believe in their potential. Some coaching moves away from developing this client relationship and, instead, relies on advice-giving. However, simply providing solutions inhibits the client’s ability to become a self-aware and independent thinker going forward. Strong coaches create connections with their clients, bring their client’s true concerns to light and help them develop the confidence to tackle problems on their own in the future.

People don’t transform their thinking on their own; coaching helps. Coaches can use five essential techniques.

People naturally resist reflecting on their thoughts. When others question a person’s beliefs, he or she often becomes defensive, erecting emotional barriers and resisting change. Yet when an effective coach uses reflective inquiry to summarize a client’s own words and paraphrase his or her ideas, then connections form and self-awareness begins.

“Reflective statements help people think about what they are saying.”

This practice of reflective inquiry prompts the necessary two-way conversation. In one example, a client expressed frustration with the ideas her co-workers offered in business strategy sessions. Through coaching, she discovered that her concerns were rooted in her reluctance to recognize cultural differences and that affected her thinking about the way other people approached business priorities. By shifting her perspective, she learned to be more inclusive and became a better leader. All coaching sessions must include these key elements:

• Goals – Establish a desired outcome, even if it does not present itself initially.
• Blocks – Identify any hurdles that may affect progress toward the goal.
• Actions – Determine next steps.

Clients can maximize the impact of their coaching sessions by participating openly. They must commit to following through on ideas and reflecting on any revelations. This coaching approach focuses on transforming the client’s behavior rather than simply solving an isolated problem.

1. Focus – Direct your attention as a coach to your client rather than to the client’s initial problem.

Five essential techniques facilitate reflective inquiry: “Focus,” “Active Replay,” “Brain Hacking,” “Goaltending” and “New and Next.” When clients embark on a coaching journey, they usually identify a problem or a situation needing resolution. Coaches can use the problem to begin a two-way conversation, then, gradually, shift the focus away from the particular problem. At that point, the coach can help bring to light any hurdles and misperceptions that cloud the client’s thinking. This shift may make clients uncomfortable; yet, challenging the beliefs that govern their actions can expand their thinking and give them much-needed direction.

“If you believe the person you are coaching has some experiences to draw from in seeking a resolution to the issue presented, then the focus needs to move away from the external problem and onto the person.”

An executive leading a division that his organization was attempting to sell expressed anxiety over problems he had with his team leaders, some of whom questioned whether they should move on to other positions. Upon further reflection, he discovered his issue centered not on his employees and their motivations but on his own ability to secure another job – an uncomfortable revelation his coach pushed him to acknowledge. This type of awareness-based coaching shifts the focus from the initial problem to the client and uncovers sentiments the client has been unable or unwilling to acknowledge. Use “Focus” effectively by taking these steps:

• Set clear expectations for the session’s agenda and the coach’s role.
• Confirm belief in the client’s abilities and potential.
• Know when to transition from the problem to the client.

2. Active replay – Affirm clients’ stories by echoing their words.

The practical coaching method of restating a client’s story offers insights and clarity into the client’s direction. Active replay calls for the coach to employ two strategies: summarizing and observing. Summarizing a client’s words on the surface appears straightforward, yet it can be powerful in helping the client understand his or her true motivations. For example, one client expressed disappointment over her husband’s unwillingness to change his job schedule. After hearing her coach summarize her words, she realized the true source of her frustration – a breakdown in communication – and that shifted the direction of the coaching. Summarizing uses three useful techniques:

• Recapping – Use the client’s words to clarify understanding or point out contradictions.
• Paraphrasing – Alter the client’s words slightly to try to guess their true direction, which they can confirm or rebuff.
• Encapsulating – Sum up the conversation succinctly to elicit a more accurate understanding of the problem from the client.

Observing clients as they discuss their concerns often offers the coach as much information as the words they speak. By noticing hesitations, emotional shifts or changes in tone when the client tells his or her story, coaches can share the emotions they observe and explore their meaning.

“Reflective statements and questions provide an active replay of not just their behaviors but also the beliefs, fears, disappointments, betrayals, conflicts of values and desires prompting their actions.”

Importantly, coaches must allow clients to express their emotions without judgment, since these observations often provide important revelations, and judging them may cause clients to withdraw. Coaches should do the following when engaging in active replay:

• Use client’s words to recap or paraphrase, then validate them.
• Drill down to the main points of the client’s story.
• Notice changes in temperament when summarizing.
• Provide emotional safety for the client.

3. Brain hacking – Help clients discover values or biases that may prevent them from seeing alternative approaches.  

Life experiences provide context for people in their day-to-day lives. When they face problems, they intuitively lean on those experiences. The coach’s job often entails breaking through clients’ experiences to expose beliefs or prejudices that may hamper their ability to consider different strategies. Coaches must encourage clients to explore their beliefs to see what makes sense and what does not. In one coaching session, for example, the client had to first question her beliefs about what good managers “should” accomplish instead of focusing immediately on the tough decision at hand.

“Our beliefs, biases and assumptions come from our experiences but are formed through the filter of our life values and social needs. As we experience life, we pull from our context to make meaning of our situations.”

People prefer to view situations through the lens of their long-held beliefs and the related standards that guide their actions. Coaches must balance these values and the biases they produce with clients’ social needs, such as the need for respect or control. When coaches help clients recognize what they value, how those values shape their decisions and what they feel they need, clients can reframe their desired outcome in those contexts. In brain hacking, resist judging your clients, notice their emotional reactions, and affirm their efforts and intentions.

4. Goaltending – Help clients keep their story on track.

At the onset of a coaching session, coaches and clients establish desired outcomes. Yet often, goals shift or the outcome becomes less clear. Coaches must continue to move with the conversation, set new goals as needed and make sure the client agrees with the direction. Expressing and working toward a stated outcome assures that the conversation stays focused and that clients can apply what they learn after their session.

“Clarifying the desired outcome gives the coach guardrails to keep the story from falling off the edge of a forward-moving path.” ”

Coaches use three essential practices to maintain focus:

1. Establish what clients want; then have them sort through their options.
2. Monitor changes in the conversation that may uncover an alternate outcome, and, with that, new insights that offer clear solutions.
3. Identify take-aways and steps toward commitment.

To keep the goal in focus, coaches must listen for what clients feel is most important as well as for ideas that cause emotional reactions, like fear, frustration or embarrassment. At the same time, the coach helps clients identify any blocks that prevent them from moving forward. Once a new outcome surfaces, the client and coach can discuss next steps. Coaches using goaltending should heed three tips:

• State what you hear as the problem and ask clients to choose an outcome they want to work toward.
• Notice when an outcome shifts, and relay this to the clients.
• Recognize emotional triggers and ask how the clients’ reactions relate to the desired outcome.

5. New and next – Promise engagement and prod clients to take action.

Reflective inquiry yields insights into clients’ true goals. To benefit from coaching, clients must commit to taking action. Before clients can act, however, they must acknowledge their insights and agree to new goals.

“Without formally wrapping up the coaching session with a verbalized commitment to action, clients may forget what they thought they knew to do after the session ends. They might even lose the insight they had.”

During the session, the coach works with clients to reiterate their objectives and then shifts to outlining next steps.Using questions such as, “What will you do with this knowledge?”, “What hurdles might inhibit you from moving forward?” or phrases like “Take time to reflect” creates openings for clients to share their plans. This increases the likelihood that they will follow through. To maximize this phase, take these steps:

• Recognize and share emotional shifts that may prompt new revelations. 
• Allow clients to change the direction of the coaching after exposing new insights.
• Develop a plan for action.

Coaches must know what to say, guard their emotions and remain present.

Astute coaches create a safe zone for clients to discuss their concerns and open themselves to self-reflection. A coach’s emotions influence the relationship with the client and the client’s willingness to share.

“The mental habits of being present, receiving instead of listening, and releasing judgment change the dynamics of relationships. Using reflective statements followed by affirming questions decreases assumptions, keeping the conversation on the same page.”

Three mental habits – the A.R.C. of coaching – influence a coach’s ability to be present for their clients:

1. “Align your brain” – Coaches must practice physical and mental awareness when coaching clients in order to focus on the discussion at hand. The coach’s objective – to broaden the client’s perspective – requires that the coach participate in – but not steer – the conversation and offer clients space to tell their story.
2. “Receive, not just listen” – The key to active listening, or receiving, lies in holding back judgment. By remaining quiet the coach can better read clients’ emotional energy as well as their words. This strengthens the thinking partnership.
3. “Catch and release judgment” – Like all humans, coaches have judgmental instincts; yet in coaching sessions, judgment can impair the client relationship. Coaches must learn to recognize when their own biases and assumptions impede their ability to form a partnership with their clients. For example, when a client laughs nervously, rather than trying to guess why, the coach needs to ask what thoughts the client had at the moment.

People benefit when they learn coaching skills. Companies benefit also when leaders instill an organizational coaching culture. The coaching mind-set opens people’s minds to different perspectives and increases employee engagement. More engagement means lower turnover and a more agile work environment.

About the Author

Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, helps coaches and leaders work with clients to create transformative conversations. She has provided coaching and training in 41 countries, and Global Gurus named her as one of the world’s top five coaches.